This Is Not A Drill: The World Ended Yesterday. We Have Proof.
Did everyone have a good day yesterday? Yes?
No major problems, like, I don’t know…. the world coming to an end? Because according to certain Rapture-promoting websites, September 21, 2009 was your last day to party like it’s… uh….2009. And they have mathematical proof. Hang in there with me, you’ll love this.
I’ve gone on record as someone who does not possess the firmest hold on my math skills, but I’m pretty sure even I can recognize deep psychosis a wobbly grip on reality when I see it. Here is the chart that proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the world ended yesterday:
God loves Himself a sine wave
This chart was thoughtfully compiled by someone who runs a website devoted to alerting people to the upcoming Rapture, and if you’re brave enough to click through to it just to prove to yourself that these people really exist, be warned that the color choices on this site are so bright and so heinous that your eyeballs will immediately melt as part of your punishment for being a non-believer.
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11 Comments
I had a headache before I even scrolled down to the second screenful. Mine eyes have seen the gory.
I was braver than Joe. I scrolled and I scrolled and I scrolled ’til my eyes watered. And then I beheld the scroll bar. About 10 rolls of the scroll-wheel down, and the scroll bar only budged 1/8th of an inch? Holy hell, somebody has got too much time on his delusional hands.
You know, I think the rabbis of the Talmud knew what they were doing when they forbade (1) computing the date when the messiah will arrive, and (2) using the background color attribute on HTML spans.
Andrew, why is it I only ever understand half of what you say?
‘Cause ya have to read it backwards, silly.
Here I am, reading your post. Does that mean I made the cut?
Does this mean the Rapture has happened? And we can ignore anyone still left because they weren’t Raptured so they’re not True Christians?
Dang… the world ended, and yet I’m still getting bills in the mail! Something’s not right here…
Hi… loved the article, though the underlying one was just about unreadable, even for someone crazy like me. Hope you don’t mind — I’ve used the chart in my own article on the Daily Moaner, and left a link back to this site.
You’re all laughing now, but you wont think it’s so funny when the zombies are EATING YOUR BRAINS!!!
I think that happened some while ago. Brains… brains… lemme see, now… where’d I put ‘em? I know I had ‘em yesterday. Oh it duzn’t matter… wuzn’t using ‘em anyhow.